If you haven’t read the previous posts, I suggest you READ:

Mana-sama

and

Malice Mizer

and

Why I hate Gackt and Juka

and

You know what’s hilarious?

and

Gackt’s Autobiography: Jihaku.

The Complexity of My Feelings for Gackt

People might seriously think that if I accidentally met Gackt in the streets of Shibuya, I’d stab him.

If Gackt fans knew who I was, I’d be stoned to death… after all the trashing I’ve done to him in this site. After all, it’s a free world, isn’t it?

I would say, “Malice Mizer is not Malice Mizer if Gackt wasn’t on vocals.” Then, I’d say, “I don’t like Gackt because he left Malice Mizer and that was the end of it.” I’d say “What’s this? Am I still reading Jihaku? Gackt is actually making sense!” Then, I’d say, “YOU’RE nonsense!” I’d say, “His unmistakable charisma was definitely one of the major factors that brought the band soaring popularity during his era.” Then, I’d say, “Seriously, yes, you’re sick, sick sick.” I’d say “Tetsu and Klaha, even Seth of Moi Dix Mois and its former vocalists, I have to say, though I hate to, don’t compare to the force, quality, and style of Gackt’s singing voice.” Then, I’d say, “I hate Gackt.”

So why do I seem to contradict myself? The complexity of it all is because I love this person

and because I miss this

and this.

The second picture is most probably never gonna happen again, let alone the third one…

Mana-sama & Gackt

I love this duo. Mana-sama made a good decision by picking Gackt as vocalist for Malice Mizer. During the Gackt Era, Malice Mizer was at its best. Just by seeing Mana-sama and Gackt, you’ll know you’ll get an AWESOME live performance. They look perfect together. They could sing to “You and Me Against the World” and CHANGE the world. Too bad it didn’t last… So I hated Gackt for leaving. Yes, Gackt broke my heart. I can’t speak for Mana-sama, but if I were him I’d be broken-hearted. Also, I felt like Mana-sama has changed (music and all) and that his music has hit the bottom after Gackt’s departure and has not recovered until maybe the second or third album of Moi Dix Mois. I don’t know if Mana-sama and Gackt grew closer in their years together and I don’t even know if they were in good terms when they went their separate ways. My SO once e-mailed Gackt because he’s a Gackt fan and in the last part of his e-mail, he asked if he and Mana still talk to each other. He answered back, but didn’t give any comments about it. I think I’m gonna cry…

Malice Mizer and Gackt

After reading Jihaku and contemplating on the chapter: The Truth About My Departure From Malice Mizer, I think Gackt wasn’t really angry towards the other members and that the one who said that “Malice Mizer is over” was probably someone from Columbia. If it was one of the band members then Malice Mizer should have ended with Gackt, but then they went back to Midi:Nette and found a new vocalist. There was the money problem of the other members like he mentioned, but also Gackt had always wanted to achieve a higher level in his ability. I also hope that all the things he said (like his regrets about not talking to Kami directly) in the chapter about Kami’s Death, were ALL true.

“If I think about it now, the cause of Malice Mizer’s breakup was my own individualism and self-confidence, and the widening difference between things that the other members were concerned about .” –> Gackt

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There are only two people in this world whom I address as -sama. Mana-sama and Haido-sama. It’s because I love and respect them.

I have said in my previous post that I was touched by Moon Child. Kei and Sho are not only characters in a movie for me anymore. They have become like friends from my past. I’ll explain this in another post.

So it’s true then that Gackt fancies Haido-sama, eh? … Grrr, G-A-C-K-T!!!

So, there goes again my complicated feelings for Gackt…

Please participate in the Gackt and Mana-sama poll. Read comment #7.