Sorry for the BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG gap from the last post. So here it goes…

WARNING: The next paragraph is Rated-18. May contain graphic violence and murderous thoughts.

I was too naïve to think that that moment would last because suddenly I got hit. I felt like I got hit by a bulldozer or something and my body was pressed against the metal divider. Yappari. Those three damned girls behind us before the concert started. They were so restless, they were shifting in their places like wriggly worms. They so desperately wanted to move up front and they did just that. I tried to push them with all my might, but what could I do against three crazy Gothic Lolitas with sumo wrestler bodies. I was just thinking, “Ok, the space will loosen up a bit sooner or later,” as my ribs were being whacked against the metal divider.

The crowd was shouting. Oooh! and Aaaaahs! everywhere. High-pitched screams of “Mana-sama!” now and then. Also there were low werewolf-like screams which went like, “Awwwooooo! Seth-san! Awwwwoooo!” I like to kill that sucker…

Ok, time to get a picture, I thought. But as I looked around no one seemed to be taking pictures or even holding a camera. But then I thought, “Maybe, they’ve taken too many pictures of Man-sama already.” And “Maybe they don’t like taking pictures.” So I held up my Canon TX1 camera and took a picture without flash, of course, because that would be really rude. Then somebody at the back screamed in Japanese, which I interpreted like, “Hey, you can’t take pictures in here!” So I put my camera back in my bag right away and thought, “Maybe, no one’s really allowed to take pictures.” No one told us. Even that guy whom we got our ticket from never said anything. A let out a sigh and then suddenly someone hit me, again. This time, it was a knock in the head. At that time I really wanted to scream a thousand curses at whoever that was. The problem was Mana-sama was too near to me, he could have heard me screaming. I mean, WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT!!! WHOEVER THAT WAS, I HOPE YOU’RE READING THIS. F*** YOU!!! And to think that Japanese people are supposed to be respectful.

Keep it cool, I said. Remember what you came here for. So I let out a sigh for the Nth time and focused on the concert. I did try to focus. But what can you do that if every five seconds the girl next to you headbangs and her hair extensions (Mind you, 99% of them wore hair extensions) whips your face again and again. Murderous thought were spilling from by brain to my blood and I just wanted to put their lights out.

And did I mention what happened to the old guy who was accompanying those 2 European girls whom I mentioned a while ago? The last thing I saw of him was that his head was being knocked on again and again by some Lolita who was doing this rock sign. And when she grew tired she rested her arm on his head. Haha! Pretty hilarious.

Anyway… it was a three hour concert. They played a whole lot of songs. Mana-sama went close to the audience so they could touch his guitar. But I didn’t touch his guitar. He threw flowers and guitar picks around. They all fell directly on top of my head, but I didn’t get any. Why? Because I was too awestruck to move, that’s why. Fine, call me puny or whatever, I don’t care. I can’t do anything. I was under a spell. There was a Q&A portion and they gave some stuff away. We sang happy birthday to Mana-sama and after that he blew his birthday candles. How cute!:) They played a few songs and at the finale, Mana-sama raised his white guitar. Amazing.

After the concert, my SO and I talked to some people, hoping to get a private audience with Mana-sama, unfortunately, only selected people get to see him. But there’s this personnel from Liquid Room who volunteered to give the gift to Mana-sama’s manager directly. Whoa, what a guy! J Oh yeah, and while waiting for a cab in front a Liquid Room, I caught a glimpse of K as he was loading some stuff in his jeep, without his make-up. He’s scary either way. Sorry K fans! :p

This was definitely the BEST and the WORST rock concert I have ever been to. Moi Dix Mois concert is hell. Forget that you’re even in Japan anymore. Get ready to get trampled by Gothic Lolitas. What can I say, LOVE THE BAND, HATE THE CROWD.

Oh yeah, and I wanna share to you THE pics that cost me shit.

The Moon’s Fifth Night, as Mana-sama fans know, is a celebration of Mana-sama’s birthday with his fans. Last March 22, I was in Liquid Room, Tokyo, to experience it all. It was also my first time to lay eyes on the very enchanting Mana-sama. And he was very enchanting indeed.

Like attending any other people’s birthday party, I make sure I bring a gift. So two weeks before the concert, I thought intently about what gift to give to the wonderful Mana-sama. I had quite a few in mind at that time, but I couldn’t decide which one was the best. Then, Manikako at the Podium happened. An inspiration struck me. What’s the best gift in the whole damned world that you could offer? (Well, aside from giving your whole being to somebody.) It’s something unique. A one of a kind. So I made him this.

Yaaaay! I really have to praise myself for accomplishing this. WAS NOT AN EASY TASK, I tell you. I was at this every night for a week and a half. Sucked my brain juices out, this little fellow. Oh, but it turned out to be so cute. I didn’t want to give it away… I miss you Mana doll.

The day of the concert came, got my tickets and waited at the lobby.

I brought my SO with me to the concert and, man, was he so out of place. We were really giggling about it while waiting. As expected, there were TONS of Lolitas running around. Some of them looked like normal Gothic Lolitas all in Moi-meme-Moitie garb. There are some freaky ones and some cheesy ones.

Then a guy from the venue started calling ticket numbers and lining people at the entrance. Lucky me for being a Mon Amour member, my ticket numbers are 7 and 8. I feel like being at first class all the way… Until the concert began…

It was unbelievable how close we were to the stage. We were standing at the front row near the middle. There was this metal divider at the front so we took the right side cause as we all know, in Moi dix Mois, Mana-sama’s always at the left side of the stage.

While we were waiting for the concert to start, this European girl in front of me noticed the bag that I was carrying (a very noticeable Totoro bag, that’s why. LOL! ) and started speaking to me in Japanese. But her Japanese wasn’t quite comprehendible so I just goggled at her. When she realized that I couldn’t understand her, she asked if I could speak English and offered me the space in front her where I could put my bag in. I declined gracefully and said thanks. Wow, how kind of her, I thought. What I never thought I would find out was that she was the only person there who was in a right state of mind.

There was this girl at my right and she was alone. While we stood there, she was clasping her Mon Amour Pendant like it’s the only thing that will save her life. And she was doing these weird arm gestures that looked like sentai stances or something. My comment: Peaceful weirdness.

Then the lights dimmed. Oh, we knew it. It has begun. The curtain was parted and Moi dix Mois was there in front of us at an arms reach. All of them were looking up and had their arms held up high. Ah, very classic…

My eyes were shimmering like an anime character in front of my idol. Haha! I never knew I could feel something like that. It was SOOOO COOL!

…Oooops! End of Moon’s Fifth Night Part 1. Will post part 2 in the coming week. More concert details and pics coming up!

Drug: Filth in the Beauty

Manufactured by: The GazettE

Dosage: When you’re losing (or have already lost) it and you wanna let it all out without hurting anybody. Perfect for schizos.

After Effects: F*****g hard rock!!! Yeah, growl baby… No need to understand what I’m saying… Just go with the rhythm till your heart pumps to the sound of the drums… Feel as I suck out the destruction from your shivering body… Sway your body from left to right… Move your head in circles… Come to me, only I can rescue you…

Drug: Filth in the Beauty

Manufactured by: The GazettE

Dosage: When you’re losing (or have already lost) it and you wanna let it all out without hurting anybody. Perfect for schizos.

After Effects: F*****g hard rock!!! Yeah, growl baby… No need to understand what I’m saying… Just go with the rhythm till your heart pumps to the sound of the drums… Feel as I suck out the destruction from your shivering body… Sway your body from left to right… Move your head in circles… Come to me, only I can rescue you…

View The GazettE page.

Drug: Cassis

Manufactured by: The GazettE

Dosage: When you’re a mix of desperation, pleading, regret, hope and courage for love.

After Effects: You’ll be a fool for love, like everybody else. Need more proof? The GazettE even made a song about it. Now you believe me? Good.

I’ll drop dead on the spot if someone I really love sings this to me… “Please look only at me…” I mean, you couldn’t really resist someone (preferably someone you like) who tells you that, right???

Drug: Cassis

Manufactured by: The GazettE

Dosage: When you’re a mix of desperation, pleading, regret, hope and courage for love.

After Effects: You’ll be a fool for love, like everybody else. Need more proof? The GazettE even made a song about it. Now you believe me? Good.

I’ll drop dead on the spot if someone I really love sings this to me… “Please look only at me…” I mean, you couldn’t really resist someone (preferably someone you like) who tells you that, right???

After 2 months of being non-existent in my blog, I’m back!!!

What’s up universe???!!!

Anyway, in my last post, I mentioned that I’d be posting the results of my online poll. I said that I’d be posting it after a few weeks, but it’s already been a few MONTHS since then…. I’M SORRY!!! To all of you whom I have let down, here’s a cute cute teddy bear.

Anyway, going straight to the point: 82.8% voted “AWESOME!!! and 17.2% voted “GRUESOME!!!”

What can I say, gotta love this duo.

Of Gackt and Mana-sama readers, I have a poll for you! Tell the world what you think! To those who haven’t read the post yet, please click here!

So here it goes: If you opened your eyes one day and woke up to Moi Dix Mois feat. Gackt in Lamentful Miss, how would you react? Click only one!

“AWESOME!!!”

or

“GRUESOME!!!” ???

If you want to be more expressive of your answers, click this and leave a reply on that page.

I’ll post the results in a few weeks!

If you haven’t read the previous posts, I suggest you READ:

Mana-sama

and

Malice Mizer

and

Why I hate Gackt and Juka

and

You know what’s hilarious?

and

Gackt’s Autobiography: Jihaku.

The Complexity of My Feelings for Gackt

People might seriously think that if I accidentally met Gackt in the streets of Shibuya, I’d stab him.

If Gackt fans knew who I was, I’d be stoned to death… after all the trashing I’ve done to him in this site. After all, it’s a free world, isn’t it?

I would say, “Malice Mizer is not Malice Mizer if Gackt wasn’t on vocals.” Then, I’d say, “I don’t like Gackt because he left Malice Mizer and that was the end of it.” I’d say “What’s this? Am I still reading Jihaku? Gackt is actually making sense!” Then, I’d say, “YOU’RE nonsense!” I’d say, “His unmistakable charisma was definitely one of the major factors that brought the band soaring popularity during his era.” Then, I’d say, “Seriously, yes, you’re sick, sick sick.” I’d say “Tetsu and Klaha, even Seth of Moi Dix Mois and its former vocalists, I have to say, though I hate to, don’t compare to the force, quality, and style of Gackt’s singing voice.” Then, I’d say, “I hate Gackt.”

So why do I seem to contradict myself? The complexity of it all is because I love this person

and because I miss this

and this.

The second picture is most probably never gonna happen again, let alone the third one…

Mana-sama & Gackt

I love this duo. Mana-sama made a good decision by picking Gackt as vocalist for Malice Mizer. During the Gackt Era, Malice Mizer was at its best. Just by seeing Mana-sama and Gackt, you’ll know you’ll get an AWESOME live performance. They look perfect together. They could sing to “You and Me Against the World” and CHANGE the world. Too bad it didn’t last… So I hated Gackt for leaving. Yes, Gackt broke my heart. I can’t speak for Mana-sama, but if I were him I’d be broken-hearted. Also, I felt like Mana-sama has changed (music and all) and that his music has hit the bottom after Gackt’s departure and has not recovered until maybe the second or third album of Moi Dix Mois. I don’t know if Mana-sama and Gackt grew closer in their years together and I don’t even know if they were in good terms when they went their separate ways. My SO once e-mailed Gackt because he’s a Gackt fan and in the last part of his e-mail, he asked if he and Mana still talk to each other. He answered back, but didn’t give any comments about it. I think I’m gonna cry…

Malice Mizer and Gackt

After reading Jihaku and contemplating on the chapter: The Truth About My Departure From Malice Mizer, I think Gackt wasn’t really angry towards the other members and that the one who said that “Malice Mizer is over” was probably someone from Columbia. If it was one of the band members then Malice Mizer should have ended with Gackt, but then they went back to Midi:Nette and found a new vocalist. There was the money problem of the other members like he mentioned, but also Gackt had always wanted to achieve a higher level in his ability. I also hope that all the things he said (like his regrets about not talking to Kami directly) in the chapter about Kami’s Death, were ALL true.

“If I think about it now, the cause of Malice Mizer’s breakup was my own individualism and self-confidence, and the widening difference between things that the other members were concerned about .” –> Gackt

——————————————————————————————-

There are only two people in this world whom I address as -sama. Mana-sama and Haido-sama. It’s because I love and respect them.

I have said in my previous post that I was touched by Moon Child. Kei and Sho are not only characters in a movie for me anymore. They have become like friends from my past. I’ll explain this in another post.

So it’s true then that Gackt fancies Haido-sama, eh? … Grrr, G-A-C-K-T!!!

So, there goes again my complicated feelings for Gackt…

Please participate in the Gackt and Mana-sama poll. Read comment #7.

When I posted Why I hate Gackt and Juka, somehow, it had me rethinking about reading Gackt’s autobiography. As much as I dislike Gackt, I also wanted to know what he has to say. Yes, I AM open-minded. So I did. I DID read his autobiography. It never occurred to me, even in my deepest, darkest imagination, that I would actually read such a manuscript. Good for me though. I’ve found more things to make fun of him. Today, let me share to you the funny stuff. (How weird the English from the quoted parts might seem, I have nothing to do with that. I copied them verbatim.)

JIHAKU

Section 1 Chapter 1 – My Near-Death Experiences as a Child and Life in the Hospital Isolation Ward

“…I was fascinated by death…”

–> I think Gackt has been watching too much anime. His childhood was like ripped off from some anime villain’s childhood.

Section 2 Chapter 2 – A Motorcycle Accident That Showed Me My Limits

“My first car was a Toyota Toreno. Called an “86,” it was a famous car with the car clubs. It was the car of the guy from the “Initial D” manga.”

–> Told you he’s been watching too much anime or reading too much manga…

Section 2 Chapter 3 – The Anguish of my Marriage and Divorce to a Korean Woman

“The time when I was nineteen was when I was born. So, as of now, I am still a child. And therefore, my mental age is probably young.”

–>Talking about being mentally retarded!

“If, just before I die, there is someone who wants to be with me until the end and she wants to be legally married with me, and there is proof of us having lived together, I will probably legally marry her.”

–>Girls, think about this offer! Think about the lump of cash you’ll inherit from this marriage!

“But I will never have children. I feel pity for any child who would have my genes.”

–>Hahahaha! Do I still need to comment?

Section 3 Chapter 4 – The Last Revolving Lantern

“As I was conscious of my death, the thought of sex suddenly floated up into my head.”

–>Sheeesh, what a sex maniac… Even during a near-death experience…

“Little by little, I started to change the people around me. Maybe on that day, I took another step across what it means to be human.”

–>At last, he’s evolving!

Section 3 Chapter 5 – Duel in Madagascar

“In that instant, I thought that I was going to kill my opponent. It was an awareness of my own self that I had forgotten, and I was prepared to break his neck. His neck was just below me, twitching. All the villagers and the referee came running in a panic, taking my hand and stopping me.”

–> He should have just killed the guy so he’ll be locked up in prison!

Section 4 Chapter 1 – My First Love, My First Girlfriend

“A kiss is the same as shaking hands or hugging. It is my way of expressing my feelings of ‘I trust you.’ When women cry? I kiss them then too.”

–>I don’t think I wanted to be trusted by Gackt or either cry in front of him…

Section 4 Chapter 3 – The Correlation between Women and Cars

“I feel that my standards for choosing a car and my standards for choosing a girl are very similar. The kind of car that I like and the kind of girl that I like are very close, I think.”

–>Gackt, if you get desperate, at least you always have your car to hump…

Section 4 Chapter 5 – Sex and Love

“It’s a feeling of thirst. I kept thirsting after sex. I couldn’t go without it. That was the only thing on my mind. I was seriously worried that in being like that, wasn’t I just a monkey?”

–>Yup, came out from your own mouth, didn’t it?

“I was not satisfied like that. I was sick; there was something wrong with me.Though you might be laughing, in those days, I was seriously worried about this.”

–>Oh please let me laugh about it just for a few seconds or else my lungs will burst!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! But seriously, yes, you’re sick, sick sick.

“I often think “I really like this person” or “I love this person.” However, these feelings are spur of the moment. It doesn’t matter whether the person is a man or a woman. Take Hyde, for example. When I’m with him, I always think “Wow, this guy is so amazing.” That’s also love, or feelings very close to love. That smile is a sin. Since I first met him, I have thought that it would be great if Hyde was a girl. But dammit, he’s a man! If he was a girl, I would probably fall for him. I really go for types like him. No matter what they say, I’ll listen. If he or she said “Come here now,” I’d leave work and go. The type of girl that I look for is gentle type like Hyde. If there was a girl like him, I think I would fall for her. ”

–>OMG! I’m having a nosebleed! Well, we all know that Gackt’s not the first one to be smitten by Haido-sama, is he?

Section 5 Chapter 1 – My World is Made of Lives

“I want to make people laugh, but I’m probably the kind of person who isn’t able to do that.”

–>Oh, well, Gackt, that’s because you haven’t met me yet! You make me laugh… AT YOU! Hahahahah!

Section 5 Chapter 2 – On Late-night Drives, Melodies are Born

“When writing lyrics, I want to use Japanese to its utmost. I love the beauty of the Japanese language. So I don’t use English if I can help it. Compared to other artists, my ratio of English usage is extremely small.”

–>It’s probably because you don’t know English…

Section 5 Chapter 3 – My Room is a Castle Underground Dungeon

“The thing that concerns me the most is not wanting to make my home comfortable. I want my house to be a place that makes me want to go outside.

My house is a place where people can gather. It is a place where your spirit can gather. I want it to be a place that gathers energy together. If the inside of a house is always like that, energy accumulates. If that happens, you feel like going outside. If you always stay in a dark room, your spirit becomes heavy. If that happens, I think that you would want to get out. To rest your soul, you could go to a place like the park. If you are looking for something bright and cheerful, it’s all right to go outside, because the sun is out there. Outside, many ideas and opportunities can come to life. However, if you become comfortable at home, you never go outside and that never happens. That’s nonsense. ”

–>YOU’RE nonsense!

Section 5 Chapter 4 – Knives and the Survival Game

“When I was 16, I was attacked. I was stabbed in the leg with a blade about 20 centimeters long. Also, I was slashed above my eyelids. Since then, I have always carried a knife with me when I go out, like Rambo.”

–>Why, oh why didn’t you die at that time???!!!

Section 5 Chapter 5 – The Importance of Fights

“In the end, I wonder if violent fights are something that lead us to be able to apologize when that single world “Warukatta” [lit: "It was bad" / "I was wrong"] is hard to say at other times. The two of you punch the lights out of each other, and then to confirm that you were both stupid, you say, “I was wrong” – “No, I was wrong,” and maybe it’s an opportunity for you to practice saying this. ”

–>What’s this? Am I still reading Jihaku? Gackt is actually making sense!

Section 5 Chapter 6 – The Feelings Towards “Moon” that I Continue to Chase

“I knew that everyone had seen the video clip “Another World,” but while I was making that video clip, I was thinking that it would be perfect as the preview to the movie “Moon Child.”"

–>Take out half of the violence in “Moon Child” then it’d be a perfect movie.

“I am the moon. I dimly light the road, and the only thing I can do is point it out to you. But when you all take that one step forward, I will gently, quietly watch over you.”

–>Oh, Gackt. Why when it’s you who say it, it sounds so CHEESY!!!

Section 5 Chapter 7 – An Unending Vision of the Future

“If there are people who continue to chase after my life and the things I do in the future, those people will surely say “he was a really interesting guy” when I die. I think this because my life has been filled with so many troubles, beyond the imaginations of anyone out there. Through all that, I felt that I can greatly move people. That is the meaning of my existence.”

–>For all Gackt’s worth, I want to say, I was deeply moved by Moon Child in ways no one can comprehend. After watching the movie, I felt like a part of me has died.

When I posted Why I hate Gackt and Juka, somehow, it had me rethinking about reading Gackt’s autobiography. As much as I dislike Gackt, I also wanted to know what he has to say. Yes, I AM open-minded. So I did. I DID read his autobiography. It never occurred to me, even in my deepest, darkest imagination, that I would actually read such a manuscript. Good for me though. I’ve found more things to make fun of him. Today, let me share to you the funny stuff. (How weird the English from the quoted parts might seem, I have nothing to do with that. I copied them verbatim.)

JIHAKU

Section 1 Chapter 1 – My Near-Death Experiences as a Child and Life in the Hospital Isolation Ward

“…I was fascinated by death…”

Still here? Continue reading this article in the NEW Flight of Fancy website.

The people who have read my blog (more so my previous post), know how I dislike Gackt (and Juka, and etc…) I can’t help but roll my eyes just by hearing his name. So I’ve posted the real reason why I dislike him, right? Guess what? It was the best day my blog ever had visitors! My blog stats sky rocketed like crazy! Believe me, I don’t know what to say. Is it just me or Gackt just seem to attract people, like honey to bees, whether people like him or not! I just don’t get it! Like this very post! Why am I even bothering to talk about Gackt! It doesn’t matter whether I’m trashing him or not, I’m still talking about him, ain’t I? I should have a page called “Trashing Gackt” or something. Gackt-trashers will most definitely be welcomed!

But, I must confess… There ARE times when I kinda like Gackt… Times when he looks ridiculous or stupid or BOTH! AHAHAHA! Check out this video. Love Mana-sama too much, so I hate Gackt too much. What can I say, I love to hate Gackt! Errr, what??? What???

The people who have read my blog (more so my previous post), know how I dislike Gackt (and Juka, and etc…) I can’t help but roll my eyes just by hearing his name. So I’ve posted the real reason why I dislike him, right? Guess what? It was the best day my blog ever had visitors! My blog stats sky rocketed like crazy! Believe me, I don’t know what to say. Is it just me or Gackt just seem to attract people, like honey to bees, whether people like him or not! I just don’t get it! Like this very post! Why am I even bothering to talk about Gackt! It doesn’t matter whether I’m trashing him or not, I’m still talking about him, ain’t I? I should have a page called “Trashing Gackt” or something. Gackt-trashers will most definitely be welcomed!

Still here? Continue reading this article in the NEW Flight of Fancy website.

You might have noticed that I have a great dislike (or hate) for the band members (especially vocalists) of Mana-sama who left for whatever reason aside from dying (miss you Kami-san!). Just put yourself in Mana-sama’s shoes. You pick this guy, who was a nobody, and turn him into something great and famous, and then he turns his back on you and says, “I think I’m meant for something greater than being your vocalist.” What the hell does that suppose to mean, you ungrateful )(*&^$#@!!! Mana-sama showed you the road to greatness and this is how you repay him?!

Gackt left Malice Mizer because of “musical differences” (Mhmm, sure…) and after Juka left Moi Dix Moi, even Kazuno and Touru left the band because they lack a vocalist. Obviously, these guys don’t know anything about loyalty and trust. Trust that Mana-sama, the pillar of visual kei, the unshakable fortress of J-rock, would actually crumble into nothingness without a vocalist! I don’t think they knew whom they dealt with when they signed their contract!

It’s really sad that Mana-sama has to go through band break-ups too many times in his life. I’d be devastated, but Mana-sama never says anything can’t happen. He just pushes forward and create something new and awesome and exciting. His greatness is at its peak with Dixanadu.The 3 ex-members must be crying their eyes out because they’re not in it. Ha! Suckers!

I hope Seth’s a keeper and the others too. Let’s shout “Banzai!” for K for sticking to Moi Dix Mois ’til today.